I guess I'm doing the opposite of Renee's post - who isn't going to Download?

In other things, paperwork is currently the bane of my life. Erin cracked down on all her lazy employees, told us we were doing well but not doing stuff in the official and organised way, and now we're catching up on five months worth of write-ups and filing. Yippee yay fun, not. I'd rather be outside in the sun.

I haven't updated in a few days, but it's more because I don't have so much to say. Baby has finally decided to let mummy sleep without feeling sick, which is a relief and a half! Instead he or she seems to like making me cry at the drop of a hat, which is only slightly worrying to people I work with.

A lot of things happening, but not so much with me at the moment. I suppose I like it this way ;) I'm not a rock star, or an artist or anything special, but at the moment I'm happy with that.

I must say, it's nice having Nancy at Victoria Lane, even if it isn't under the best of circumstances.

I just wish it wasn't so cloudy outside.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Really. Let me know if there's anything, anything you need, anything I can do.

Would you object if I said I wanted to put a flaming bag of poo on that person's doorstep. The one who was bothering me. I haven't heard anything more and I'd like it to stay that way.

Kayleigh Mackenzie puts her fucking foot in it again.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And that bastard'd better not go near me.

I didn't want to say before, because you'd worry. But at the hospital.. I would've lost the baby if it wasn't already.. the way it is. Immortal. Can't die, even how he or she is now.

I don't know what to do now. I suppose I'm asking for help, advice, guidance. But if it's too intruding, I'm sorry. Is this how it feels? Like they've ripped out whatever you had left of your heart and you can't find it?

I love you. I never want that to happen again. It shouldn't ever have gone like this, no, not at all. If I hadn't been so stupid, if I hadn't gone to the river then they wouldn't have taken me and then they wouldn't have come after us and taken away my Ella. It's not fair, this isn't fair because she's supposed to live and have a life and now she's just had it taken away.

I think I can say I know how it feels now. And I don't want to feel it any more.

Mother's here. No, really. She's staying with Rosanna but she came to talk to us at Cherry Orchard Lane. It was.. well, a lot of raised voices. I think she's opening her eyes.

I can't go back to my home. Not yet, at least. Chloe and Yvonne and Eric are too lovely, putting up with me here.

Physically, I'm fine, baby's fine.

I can't think of anything more to say, so I'll leave it at that.

Not a lot to say for today really. Went to the doctor's, everything's all normal now which is definitely good. And baby has a heartbeat, which makes me feel all butterfly-like inside when I think about it!

Day off tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to a four-day Easter weekend :)

I think things are picking back up again, and it makes me happy! :)